Breaking Up Is Not Easy…Prepare for the Moments

Recently, I’ve been meeting a lot of women who are taking that step—you know the one. The leap out of their comfort zone to change their relationship status from married to separated, and ultimately, to divorced.

I found myself wondering why the universe has been placing these women in my path. And then it dawned on me—maybe it’s because I’ve been divorced twice. Maybe it’s because I know the amount of courage it takes to make the decision, push through the tough moments, and stay the course.

Yes—stick with it. That part isn’t easy.

Women often call me and say, “OMG, this is so much harder than I thought it would be.” And yes, it is hard. That’s why I always encourage people to truly understand their reason why. When someone decides to make a big change—like ending a marriage—it’s not a decision to be taken lightly. It requires thought, reflection, and heart.

If you are clear on why you’re making the change, you’ll be better equipped to navigate those tough moments, especially the ones that sneak up on you.

Because no matter who initiates the breakup, it still hurts.

No one enjoys hurting another person. It’s never easy to end a relationship. There will be moments of unexpected sadness. Whether it’s your first breakup or you’re in your 50s and ending a long-term marriage, emotions like sadness, disappointment, and grief will show up. You can’t avoid them. And when those emotions get tangled with fear, doubt, and loneliness, you’ll experience what I call “moments.”

A moment can be as small as hearing your song, finding a birthday card, or waking up in the morning with that deep, hollow feeling in your gut. For me, it feels like a loss staring me right in the face. And all I want is to make that feeling disappear.

But there’s no shortcut through those moments.

You have to face them, feel them, and work through them. Cry as much as you need to. Pray. Prayer always grounds me. I know God has my back, and I remind myself of that every single day. I’ve been on my knees, crying, asking God to guide me—and He does. He always does.

Whether you believe in God, the Universe, Buddha, or something else, I hope you believe in a power greater than yourself that can help carry you through.

Prepare for the Moments

Sometimes, the “moments” are so intense you’ll question everything. That’s when it’s crucial to revisit your reason why.

Anticipate what might trigger those feelings. If you used to spend Saturday nights with your ex, plan something in advance—a dinner with a friend, a movie night, anything to give yourself support. During my first divorce, I made Saturday night plans every week. It helped.

We all face sadness—so ask yourself: How do I deal with sadness? Some dive into hobbies, others need time to reflect. This is where self-awareness becomes your superpower. Think back to other difficult times in your life. What helped you move through them?

And remember: A breakup isn’t a failure. It’s not a test. Life is not pass or fail—it’s about growth. And we evolve.

There are a million reasons why relationships don’t work. But you only need one good reason—your reason—and that’s enough. That’s why I always recommend journaling. Your journal becomes a lifeline, a reminder of everything you did to try and make the relationship work.

Prepare Your Team

Let your people know you’ll need them. It’s not weakness—it’s strength to say, “Hey, I’m going through something, and I need your love and support.”

I call mine My Girls or My Team. My soul sisters never let me down. So reach out to your close friends or family. Tell them you’ve made a choice, it’s going to take time, and you could use an extra boost (or a little push) from time to time.

And the Good News…

With every ending comes incredible growth. You won’t even believe how much you’ll learn, how much you’ll bloom.

One day, you’ll look back and say, Wow. I made it.

I encourage you to embrace the changes that are coming. As humans, we are always evolving—so trust that you’ll find peace and happiness again.

There’s so much more I could say, and if you're looking for guidance, please consider reading Divorce Happens: Bounce Back!

And please… consider me part of your team.

I’m here for you.

It would be my honor to support you on this journey—to help you see that there is life after divorce.

You will have wonderful relationships throughout your life. Some will end. And then… you will love again. I promise you.

In the meantime, breathe. Rest. Take time to rediscover you.

And never, ever forget this:

The most important relationship you will ever have is the one you have with yourself.

Sending you love and kindness.

You’ve got this, my friend.
Lisa