Friday night I was enjoying pizza with a friend when she asked me how I don’t stress if someone says something negative to me or volunteers unsolicited advice. My response was it comes with age and it took me time to learn how to do it. I shared with her how I taught myself how to be mindful of my mind. I told her that she has the same power. We all do. I learned how to stand guard and be vigilant about what I allow into my mind.

Here’s how I explained it: When someone wants to lose weight they look at their eating habits. They typically start by eating healthy food, exercise and commit to change.

We have to be willing to do the same thing with our mind and thoughts. When was the last time you stopped to listen to what you are saying to yourself and allowing in your mind? I mean really listen to your inner dialogue. We create our thoughts.

I read that we have over 50,000 to 70,000, this means between 35 and 43 thoughts per minute a day and they are usually the same negative thoughts over and over.

Is your self-talk working for you or against you?

Please indulge me for one day, and stop and listen to what you are saying to yourself.

Start addressing your mind. What are you allowing in? Start acknowledging the thoughts that are weighing you down – the ones that do not serve you well anymore. Write them down. Look how you can turn them around. If you are prone to negative talk. Try reframing your thoughts.

Here is an example. In my last blog I talked about how I have gained 10 pounds. In the past I may have said something to myself like – OMG, I cannot believe you gained weight again. By talking to myself like that I am being negative and not kind. Instead, I can say this – you know you will lose the weight when you are ready but the 10 pounds does not change who you are. Do not beat yourself up mentally. Focus on progress, moving forward – not perfection, and remember, we are all a work in progress.